I’ve been reading The Multiorgasmic Couple, an extension of The Multiorgasmic Man, which explores Taoist sexual practices and the belief in separating orgasm from ejaculation. The book presents a framework for couples to cultivate sexual energy, enhance intimacy, and sustain pleasure over extended periods by channeling their sexual vitality inward rather than expelling it.
One of the most fascinating aspects of the book is its discussion of how orgasm is not solely tied to ejaculation. The authors cite intriguing cases, such as prepubescent boys and individuals with spinal cord injuries who experience orgasm in unconventional ways. For example, quadriplegics and paraplegics can reach orgasm through alternative sensory pathways, such as touch on the fingers. These examples reinforce the idea that orgasm is more about energy flow and awareness than just physical release.
A central tenet of the book is the conservation of qi (life force energy) by avoiding ejaculation. According to Taoist philosophy, retaining semen allows men to recycle and redistribute their energy throughout the body, leading to increased vitality, longevity, and deeper states of pleasure. This practice aligns with many traditional energy cultivation techniques found in Taoism and Tantra, emphasizing internal alchemy and self-mastery.
That said, my personal perspective differs from the book’s approach to semen retention. I do not actively practice complete retention, as I see ejaculation as a social function, particularly in shared sexual experiences. Watching others cum, or being watched, releases oxytocin and fosters connection. While retention has its energetic benefits, the social and emotional aspects of ejaculation also play a significant role in intimacy and bonding.
Nevertheless, the book offers valuable insights into refining sexual awareness. It suggests that instead of automatically ejaculating, one can develop mindful control over pelvic contractions, the penis, and the perineum. This heightened awareness allows for prolonged states of arousal, making it possible to sustain pleasure for extended periods through edging and deepened sensation. While the initial experiences may feel like subtle or smaller orgasms, with practice, they can build into profound full-body pleasure.
Overall, The Multiorgasmic Couple presents an intriguing perspective on harnessing sexual energy for greater vitality and connection. While some principles may not align with everyone’s approach to sexuality, the book offers a compelling exploration of how conscious sexual practices can deepen intimacy and expand pleasure beyond conventional orgasmic experiences.