Ask partners where they like to be touched.
We’ll do exercises where we ask for the kind of touch we want and these requests will be turned down, and we did exercises where we turned down others’ requests.
One partner (Partner A) will start by asking for permission related to touch restricted to arms, hands, head, shoulders, hugs: Can you touch my hair? Can you hold my hand? Can you give me a hug?”
The other partner (Partner B) will respond with a clear “no.”
Now instead of saying just “no” to a request, you can offer alternative options that feel comfortable for you.
“Instead of a hug, would you be open to holding hands?”
“I’m not ready for physical contact, but I would love to chat for a bit if that’s okay with you.”
Switch.